A great mentor drilled into me at an early age something that’s stayed with me for decades…
Some friends will be for when you just need someone to listen and offer comfort; some will be for when you need advice and support. Some will be there for just fun. And a rare few, they’ll ALWAYS be there, no matter what. Learn to differentiate… Acquaintances, Colleagues, Friends, Good Friends, Great Friends, Best Friends.
It sounds simple, but it’s a foundational life lesson that takes years, sometimes a lifetime, to fully appreciate. Understanding the different roles people play in your life is not about judgment or exclusion… it’s about clarity, and with clarity comes peace.
Not All Friends Are Created Equal…
We tend to use the word friend too freely. We call colleagues friends. We call acquaintances friends. We even call people we barely know on social media friends. But true friendship lives on a spectrum, each level with its own kind of value.
Let’s break it down…
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Acquaintances
They know your name, maybe what you do, and you nod when you pass each other. They’re not part of your inner circle, but they’re part of your world. -
Colleagues
These are people you collaborate with. You may share projects, pressure, and occasional happy hours, but remove the work context, and many of these connections fade. -
Friends
They check in occasionally, show up at your birthday, and care enough to ask how you are. They’re kind and reliable, but not always deeply woven into your emotional life. -
Good Friends
These are the ones you can call in the middle of a rough week. They know your quirks and your stories, you’ve built real trust, and they want the best for you. -
Great Friends
These friends see your blind spots and challenge you with love. They celebrate your wins like they’re their own, and mourn your losses with genuine pain. -
Best Friends
The “always” people. They’re few and far between, and they don’t come around often in life. But they’re there through it all, your worst days, your biggest mistakes, your quietest moments. They listen without fixing, stand without wavering, love without condition.
Why Differentiation Matters
Expecting “best friend” behavior from someone who’s really a colleague, or someone who’s there for fun but not for your grief, is a recipe for disappointment. Not everyone can show up in every way, and that’s okay. The key is knowing who’s who. Not so you can rank people, but so you can manage your expectations and honor the relationships for what they are, not what you wish they’d be.
The Gift of Seeing People Clearly
When you stop asking people to be what they’re not, you free yourself from resentment, and you stop feeling let down when the party friend doesn’t call after a breakup. You stop feeling hurt when the work friend doesn’t keep in touch after the job ends. AND you start cherishing those rare, deep friendships more intentionally… because now you know just how rare they are.
Relationships are living things… some will deepen, others will drift, and some will surprise you. But through it all, the ability to differentiate will keep you grounded, grateful, and open. Because knowing who’s truly there for you… that’s not just a skill, it’s wisdom.
The most important RETURN ON RELATIONSHIP is FRIENDSHIP!