I think the “busy” word is also used to fend off any possibility of outreach for so many that think of connection and relationship building as a chore… AND who worry that the outreach might require some sort of a commitment to be of assistance.
Too many don’t want to expend that relationship energy, until they need something from you. #SadButTrue
The term “busy” has evolved into a convenient shield that many people use to deflect opportunities for connection and relationship building. In today’s fast-paced world, where “productivity” is sadly often idolized, saying “I’m busy” serves as an easy way to avoid engaging with others, especially when there is an underlying fear of being drawn into something that may require emotional or time-consuming commitments. For many, connection-building can feel like a chore, and by labeling themselves as busy, they sidestep not only the act of outreach but also the vulnerability that comes with forming deeper, more meaningful relationships. This defense mechanism not only keeps them from forming new bonds but also limits the oh-so-valuable growth and maintenance of existing ones.
The reluctance to engage unless there’s a tangible benefit often becomes evident when people who have previously kept their distance suddenly need something. This transactional approach to relationships reveals a deeper discomfort with the emotional investment that true connections require. Some individuals conserve their social energy until they need a favor, advice, or assistance, at which point they reach out, having invested little beforehand. This creates a cycle where connections are sustained not by mutual care or shared experiences, but by utilitarian motives. Ultimately, this devalues relationships and undermines the richness and authentic value that genuine human connection can bring.
It often goes like this… “Hey, Ted, how are you doing, it’s been a long time? Listen, I know I haven’t been responsive to your outreach in the last year or so, but I had a very important job, and I’ve been really, really busy. BUT I am ‘transitioning’ now (code for unemployed) and I was wondering… can you open your whole network to me and spare about an hour so I can ‘pick your brain,’ because I’m looking for (need) a new opportunity?”
NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, they’re responsive, they want your attention, and they think it’s okay that they ignored you for the last year because they were important and busy.
Your Brand is what you do… Your Reputation is what people Remember AND Share!