I don’t get to celebrate Father’s Day in the traditional way as a Dad, so I cherish my daughters from afar, am thankful for their happiness, intelligence, health, success, and beauty (inside and out)… and think about them with love. It has been getting more difficult to maintain this perspective as the years go by and they mature into women who, truth be told, should be able to think for themselves and have a moral code that empowers them to do so.
I live vicariously via whatever I can find online, what is shared by others, and the little that might be occasionally shared by them directly that appears via a Google search. This has been a process for me, and one that I doubt I will ever fully come to terms with. Many know my consistent #ThisDadWontQuit mantra, which for the past few years or so I have been evolving as #TheDadWhoWillAlwaysLove.
A few words I’d like to share with my girls as if they were here, and with the hopes that perhaps they occasionally seek out my content… As you continue to mature from girls into women, partners, and parents, BE yourself, weigh others input but THINK for yourself, then ACT upon what YOU believe!
This time is now upon you… “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the person who’ll decide where to go.” ~Dr. Seuss
And one small simple wish… that whatever life brings, you will share all the goodness and grace that’s inside you… even if you cannot seem to do that with me. ALWAYS be HAPPY, Be Good To People… and Be Good To Yourself! Remember… you and your sister are the light of my life and the warmth in my heart no matter. I love you both dearly, live surrounded by memories of us together, AND have love, feelings, and memories in my heart and head that ARE MINE, and no one can ever take away.
Being a father transcends how we feel moment-to-moment. We have to remember that everything we do is being observed, recorded, and processed by our kids, and is important to their emotional development –– perhaps even more so for children of divorce. They’re always watching, and although they can’t truly understand and process it all, our interactions are being stored for future analysis, and will affect the way they view the world, to say nothing of how they ultimately live in it.
P.S. I am incredibly thankful for my nieces, Esther, Hanna and Brooke, and Emma… and her husband Sam (and their amazing children Miriam and Asher). They are the light of my life, make me feel special every day, and always let me know that I am valued 🙏🏻
I do my best to relish this day as a son as well with thoughts of my Dad… Jim Valvano’s words always ring in my ear… “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” (He did, and he never wavered no matter my faults and missteps… a good man, a better friend, an extraordinary Dad. The way I hope to be remembered as well). ❤️
The Dad That Doesn’t Quit…
“I wish none of this had happened.” ~Frodo “So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.” ~Gandalf, Lord of the Rings
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