A great mentor drilled into me at the beginning of my career that some friends will be for when you just need someone to listen and offer comfort; some will be for when you need advice and support. Some will be there for just fun. And others will ALWAYS be there. Learn to differentiate… Acquaintances, Colleagues, Friends, Good Friends, Great Friends, Best Friends.
Here’s my take on a look at these levels of friendship and how to distinguish them:
Acquaintances: These are people you know but don’t necessarily have a deep connection with. They might be neighbors, people you see regularly at the gym, or others you greet in passing. Acquaintances add a sense of familiarity and belonging to our daily lives without much emotional investment. They’re not usually the people you go to for support, but their presence can still enrich your everyday experiences.
Colleagues: Colleagues are unique in that your relationship with them is often work-centered. They may share insights or offer assistance on professional matters, and with some, a bond might grow beyond work boundaries. However, for the most part, these relationships serve a specific function and might not carry over into personal life. Understanding this boundary helps maintain a healthy balance between work and personal relationships.
Friends: Friends are the people you choose to spend time with when you want to relax or share experiences. These might be the people you call for a casual coffee, share a hobby with, or invite to social gatherings. The relationship is friendly and mutually enjoyable, but not yet deep enough to involve high levels of trust or vulnerability… and they never evolve beyond, and they don’t have to. Friends are there for fun and companionship without significant emotional expectations.
Good Friends: Good friends start to bridge the gap between companionship and emotional support. You feel comfortable being more open with them and can count on them for advice, comfort, or a listening ear when needed. They have a sincere interest in your life and well-being and will often go out of their way to help. Trust and reliability begin to play a significant role at this level, and your time with them is meaningful and valued.
Great Friends: Great friends are people who know you well—your strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and dreams. These are the friends you go to in times of need, those who genuinely want the best for you and will give honest feedback even if it’s tough to hear. They are often the first ones you think of for life’s milestones, big and small, and their support is a constant source of encouragement. Great friends have a sense of loyalty and depth that makes them stand out from other connections.
Best Friends: Best friends are rare and precious. These are the people who are there through thick and thin, whom you can be completely yourself with, without fear of judgment. Best friends offer unconditional support and understand you on a deep level. They’re the ones you turn to with both your highest joys and deepest sorrows, and they often feel like family. In times of crisis, they’re the first to show up. The trust, loyalty, and love in this bond are profound, and a best friend’s presence can be life-changing.
Learning to differentiate between these levels of friendship allows us to appreciate and honor the role each person plays in our lives. Not everyone needs to be a best friend, and that’s okay. Understanding who belongs where helps you nurture and invest in relationships accordingly, bringing balance and depth to your social world.
Relationships are like muscle tissue, the more you engage them, the stronger and more valuable they become. And the RETURN ON RELATIONSHIP that comes from each type is invaluable in their own way.