I so appreciate all the support I have been receiving here, via phone, text, email, and Facebook. This is all so unfortunate for the girls, especially this publicity. Not at all what I wanted 🙁
This has been going on for 3 years now… and the 5 years before that were no picnic.
My paramount concern has always been what is best for my children, and I was hoping that by the Court’s use of pseudonyms, our names would not be publicly disclosed for the protection of my daughters.
The quote I have come to live my life by is as follows… “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
Your girls are very luck to have such a great dad. Keep on fighting !
All the best Ted. You’re a man who works hard to love and protect his girls. That fact emanates from your every pore. 🙂
YOU ARE AN INSPRIRATION! I AM IN A SIMINLAR SITUATION WITH MY EX-WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN. I HAVE MAINTAINED BY CONSTANTLY PUTTING EVER NEEED OF MY CHILDREN IN FRONT OF MINE, AND ALWAYS STRIVING TO MAINTAIN A NICE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY EX-WIFE REGADRLESS OF HOW SHE MAY HANDLE THE SITUATION AT HAND. I PRAY THAT YOU, YOUR GIRLS, AND YOUR EX-WIFE WILL LEARN AND GROW FROM THIS TIME IN YOUR LIVES. TAKE CARE OF THOSE GIRLS!!! THEY NEED ASTRONG MAN IN THEIR LIVES LIKE YOU, AND PRAY THAT THEIR MOM CAN SOMEHOW LEARN TO RELEASE THE BITTERNESS THAT IS DRIVING HER ANGER AND INSTEAD LEARNS TO DEAL WITH THE PAST AND MOVE ON IN A LOVING MANER.
Hey Ted, I am your neighbor and I have been going through the same Hell for the last 10 years.. My daughter barley puts up with me and my son actually uses his Mom’s Maiden name as his last name.. Oh yea she changed hers also.
I am right next store and I have my daughter this weekend. And I mentioned to you before my ex planned a volley ball trip on fathers day which is strictly against the rules of our settlement..Judge did nothing.. I wish I had your Judge when I sued my ex for Parent ALienation! She got a slap on the writs despite all the poison I proved she had spewed against me.
Hang in there and My wife, the nice one, and I are here for you.
I read your post article. I was utterly astonished at your story as it mirrors mine almost completely (although I am a few years behind you). The custody battle, abuse accusations, alienation, and constant small and large deliberate brainwashing. I am in the middle of this situation and hearing your resolve has put a bounce in my step. I hope the court sees my situation clearly and I can preserve my young children from the latter effects of my ex. Thanks for being strong and one day your children will not only see your ex for what she is, but, admire you for your dedication and steadfast love for them! bravo! As for the publicity of it, it is required. I guarantee your name has been publically smeared for years. In order to fight someone branishing a gun, you need a gun ultimately to fight back. Sometimes you need to punch a bully in the FACE!
Best of Luck
i hope someday you can fully reunite with your daughters. i hope to someday reunite with my oldest son. i have so far been able to maintain a good relationship with my two younger children.
I hope someday you can go public with more details to help increase public awareness. The pain your daughters suffer from seeing their mother in jail and in the press is nothing compared to the pain if they had lost a connection to either of their parents. Cases like yours hopefully can help prevent future extreme situations like you, i and others and our children have suffered through.
Your story gives other single father’s such as myself inspiration to keep trying harder and harder to do what is best for our children. I have 4 wonderful young girls, and my ex has already served me with 2 restraining orders, I will be in court 9am tomorrow for the hearing regarding the 2nd TRO. Hopefully it will be dismissed as quickly as the 1st one was.
I hope for your girls that your situation resolves quickly. Fortunately Judge Ross made a decision that has been heard around the world and will be a warning to other alienating parents that this behaviour will not be tolerated. As I work tirelesly for legislative change and judicial reform, I can see light and the tide will eventually turn. I am an alienated mother of 4 children and the author of the novel “The Look of Love”-as story of a bitter divorce and parental alienation. Best of Luck~
Somebody left a copy of the Post with your picture facing up in the subway, so I read the story. You have my sympathy for the difficult situation with your wife, but that paper should show some decency. Sorry the anonymity was broken.
Please stay the course and remain strong for your girls. They cannot possibly see straight yet. You did the right thing in this case. And I do believe even in the worst circumstances that your genuine and good intentions will prevail; even as your ex is still feigning indignation to futher manipulate the children. She is wrong and the verdict was more than fair. It is very good to see that the court system is now taking PAS seriously.
I do know that it is an exhausting journey. But we need to save our children one case at a time. You are an inspiration to so many. And everything CAN be turned around. What you did was brave and set a very important precident for so many others. For that, I thank you…
As you know this is only the beginning. You are at the start of a long journey to provide your children with the proper care they need now and should have always received. And to wipe away the brainwashing… is not easy. But one step at a time… I truly believe the children can be saved.
Thank you again.
I know of a man going through this. He too is a father who cares deeply for his children and has never hurt them. Shame on the woman who uses her children for her own vengeance. A woman who will cry wolf by playing the “child abuse” card to win in her vicious scheme is a very foolish woman. There are real cases of child abuse. The courts and CPS should be free of false accusation so they have time to investigate the real child abusers. If they are lying to the children about someone as important as a Father then what else do they lie about? Do they ever come out of their own selfish comma to really love and care for their children instead of using them as pawns? It is time, too, that the fathers quit keeping secrets for their sick,bitter,and over-the-top insecure x spouse.
Thank you for bringing the Ted Rubin debacle to light. I want to stand up with Ted Rubin and be counted along with all the others that have had to suffer through the painful effects of “Parental Alienation”. At times the only approach in dealing with this crime, is to pretend to your ex that it does not bother you to be prevented from having a loving relationship with your children. It takes all the pleasure away from your ex, when she sees that she cannot hurt you.
I truly believe that my ex is the queen of Parental Alienation. I have been called a “Deadbeat Dad”, “The Sperm Donor”, and “A Dangerous Man”. I have also been told that “I am no longer a part of the family”. For all of you who have battled through these kinds of horrible, hurtful, lies and assaults, just keep this in mind. Your ex is able to perpetrate this ugly behavior against you, because she hates you, more than she loves her children! Such people are in serious need of mental health evaluation and treatment. Unfortunately, these manipulative, vicious and vindictive animals are rarely ordered by judges to seek the help that they so desperately need.
My ex is so obsessed with the whole Parental Alienation ploy, that I think of her as nothing more than a terrorist. “The Bin Laden of Wives”. I am one of the more fortunate victims of Parental Alienation. I was able to positively channel my frustration into writing a book about these abuses. (see attached). I was smart enough not to give my ex the one thing she so desperately wanted, the loss of all contact and communication with my children. Although, at times, my children were deserving of blame for their inconsiderate and hurtful behavior, I made it a point of letting them know that I did not blame them for a predicament that was forced on them. To blame my children, would have only alienated them further and rewarded my ex. Instead, I directed my feelings toward the one person that I rightly should have, my ex. I am hoping that through my book and by following my lead, I will be able to help save others from having to be subjected to these terrible atrocities. Now that my three children are in their twenties, they finally “get it”. They have each expressed the desire to better their relationship with me. So, to that I say, there is a god!
Kudos to all of you for not just sweeping this under the rug. It took a great deal of courage for Mr. Rubin to let the world into his life. I wish him all the best. I hope that Ted finds solace in the fact that I, along with so may others fully support him and feel his pain. It is also refreshing to hear that there is a judge who “gets it” and is willing to stand out from the crowd and do the right thing, Thank you Judge Ross. May God Bless You All!
Ted I caught a clip of the news paper articles for you and your x about parental alienation..My god My husband is going throught the same thing and nothing we do seems to help!! All he wants is to see his son …. your story fits his to a t.. she even kidnapped hima nd took him out of state for 5 months with out any info on where they lived and took him out of schhol for 3 months !! the judges dont do a thing for farthers rights at all!! we are from chicago the system sucks… when we do get him she calls us at least 10-15 times a day harrassing us.. it never ends our vistits are every other weekend from friday @6 till sunday @ 5.. its hard to make any kinda of positive impact when we dont get him much ….. i feel your pain and i pray that you get your girls thank you for your time holly
I am the ex-wife in my own horrific custody saga so I wanted to drop you a line to let you know that I sympathize with your situation and it certainly can come from dad too. I married an abusive man and apparently leaving him was the greatest offense and he waged war. Despite his abuses towards me, he was otherwise good to our girl and I always saw the value in that. Unfortunately, too often the child becomes the only piece of the heart they can still manipulate and manipulate he did. I was accused of abuse multiple times, including sexual. The horror of that feeling pales in comparison to the pain I feel knowing the examinations my 3 year old daughter experienced. I have longed for justice and am mystified that while I’ve always been vindicated, his malicious harassment through a system meant to protect, is so difficult to punish. I know divorce is difficult and expensive but what our ex-spouses have done without any reasonable cause, is abuse. While you and your children will never be made “whole” again, at least you have had the system acknowledge that this conduct is simply not okay. I wish you and your family the very best and I hope that the ex-wife realizes that her conduct has disrespected her children more than their father and that being a good parent means loving your children more than you hate your ex. Best,
Hello Ted. Looking back at our parents and the life we grew-up in, was it right what we did? If we marry “til death do us part” (our wives believed) and had children, didn’t we have the responsibility to stay (at whatever the cost) with our wife and children? I am in the same situation as you. I can never have the day-to-day relationship with my children that my father had with me and my sisters. The only way I can raise a child is to do what Michael Jackson did, use a surrogate mother, how else? If I adopt, the child is not my blood. So difficult to stay with one women, but I desparately want to raise children. What’s your opinion? Is it ever too late to start? Are we too old?