something I put before all else. They are teenagers now and being a divorced Dad it can be challenging to continue to reach out, put them first, and maintain this in the face of their occasional lack of interest and the roadblocks so easily put in place by their Mom as well as all the other other distractions, like social media, that can keep my focus and attention from them.
What inspires me to move beyond limitations and obstacles is the love of my children and a desire to not only be a part of their lives, but to have influence on how they think, reason, and develop.
I believe being a Father transcends how we feel moment-to-moment. We have to remember that everything we do is being observed, recorded, and processed in the present, and the future, and will be a key component of our children’s emotional development… especially for children who are the products of divorce. They are always watching/observing, and although they cannot truly understand it all now, our interactions are being stored for future analysis… whether conscious or subconscious it will all affect the way they view the world, friendship, love and affection.
This is the thought process that guides the way I behave, the face I reveal to them, and how I impress upon them my values and attitudes about life, friendship and love. My father used to say… “do like I say, not like I do.” I say… “do like I do!”
Wow. You really struck a chord with me here. I can appreciate your transparency and I’m grateful you shared this. Often times, I am tempted to get a sitter for a few hrs after school so I can finish work; instead of staying up till 1am on most nights.
In the end, I want to make my kids feel loved and that they are most important in my life. Thanks for the reminder that “everything we do is being observed, recorded, and processed…” I think as parents sometimes we get lazy and think that after a certain age, kids are formed and stop ‘absorbing” -so not true.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for the input and support Laura. Seems to me most of us are continually evolving, not just as children. What we see from those we admire and look up to plays such a big part in how we grow as people and how we interact with others.