I did not get to be with my daughters this year for Thanksgiving. I do have time with them today and bring them back to my Aunt and Uncles where my whole family gathered for the holiday yesterday and stayed overnight.
Spending time with my girls is something I put before all else. They are teenagers now and being a divorced Dad it can be challenging to continue to reach out, put them first, and maintain this in the face of their lack of interest and the roadblocks so easily put in place by their Mom as well as all the other other distractions, like social media, that can keep my focus and attention from them.
What inspires me to move beyond limitations and obstacles is the love of my children and a desire to not only be a part of their lives, but to have influence on how they think, reason, and develop.
I believe being a Father transcends how we feel moment-to-moment. We have to remember that everything we do is being observed, recorded, and processed in the present, and the future, and will be a key component of our children’s emotional development… especially for children who are the products of divorce. They are always watching/observing, and although they cannot truly understand it all now, our interactions are being stored for future analysis… whether conscious or subconscious it will all affect the way they view the world, friendship, love and affection.
This is the thought process that guides the way I behave, the face I reveal to them, and how I impress upon them my values and attitudes about life, friendship and love. My father used to say… “do like I say, not like I do.” I say… “do like I do!”
*Remember… parents do not realize when their daughter is a child, how fleeting the moments are. And in the blink of an eye, the little girl who did pirouettes (cartwheels) down the hall is dancing her way through her own life.
Message to my daughters… “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss