With divorce, most dads are not the custodial parent, and therefore, the dad has little or no control over the daily decisions. For many reasons, dads may allow the mom to be the custodial parent, including financial necessity, lack of comfort with being a pseudo full-time dad or lack of desire. Often attorneys and psychologists advise this traditional route.
I believe that dads should do whatever it takes to get full joint legal and custodial custody, even if equal splitting of time means not having a “primary” home. Many psychologists advise against this and recommend that the child should have a primary residence, but I disagree. Don’t be left out of your kids’ lives. Step up and commit to being available for your children right from the beginning. Be a steady influence in their lives so that when they are teens, and they pull away for their own reasons, you remain a constant enduring presence.
What always inspired me to move beyond the limitations and obstacles of being a divorced parent in a culture traditionally designed for shared parenthood is the love of my children and a desire to not only be a part of their lives, but to have influence on how they think, reason, and develop. It is challenging due to roadblocks that can easily be put in place by the custodial parent, but I made a decision from the start of those inconveniences and roadblocks to put one foot in front of the other, every day, and never give up.
I feel, above all others, it is the responsibility of the parents to raise their children. Parents can get involved and do their best to influence their community and schools, but ultimately it is their job to instill the importance of education, values, discipline, and responsibility for oneself… even if that can be made difficult at times by the other parent, and even when parental alienation is part of the formula. Be there, be present, and be the one setting the example.
Playing with your children, participating at their level, teaching by example, and making certain to allow them the time and opportunity to have fun is so very important. In addition, allowing your children to freely play with others, without the parents hovering over them, is fast becoming non-existent, and we are raising our children without socializing and problem solving skills. Let them play and you will be amazed at what they learn, how they develop and who they become.
Loving and setting an example for your children is a lifetime role. Even if that relationship is a distant or “non-existent” one, you are always a part of them, they are always watching in some way (believe it or not), and that connection is there for life and beyond.
“THIS DAD WON’T QUIT” IS THE ULTIMATE IN “#NOLETUP!“… I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THAT LOVE IN MY HEART, I DON’T NEED IT RETURNED TO ALWAYS HAVE IT WITH ME.
#ThisDadWontQuit #TheDadWhoWillAlwaysLove… #NoLetUp!👊🏻💞